Finding Purpose

Okay, so I thought that being an adolescent was one of the most trying times in life, and I now see that I was wrong. It appears that transitioning between college student to an adult is also a sticky situation. Especially for one such as myself who is dreaming big but afraid to take big risks. And that's truly the problem...me being afraid to take the big risks. Its almost impossible in my line of work as a writer, so I have made the decision that it is all balls in from here on in.

And I have made a couple of decisions....

1) I will go to graduate school to get my MFA in creative writing. Not a Master's in English with a concentration in Creative Writing, but an honest to God Master's in Fine Arts. And I'm not going to some school that I can afford either. Balls in, remember? I'm applying to Brown, Columbia and the Iowa Writer's Workshop. One of my mentors told me that I am an awesome writer and I should be taught by the best.

2) I'm currently working part-time at the Muhammad Ali Institute for Peace and Justice at the University of Louisville (look it up...we're going to be doing some exciting things). And there are some things that I want to do financially, but can't because I only have one part-time job. My mom is calling for me to get a full-time job with benefits and the like. Good idea, but its not really what I want to do right now so unless I get a job offer from Humana before I find another part-time job, I will be living paycheck to paycheck and loving it. I have plenty of time to sell out to the man.

3) I'm suffering from the dreaded writer's block right now, but instead of wallowing, I'm reading like crazy. So I have made the decision to rededicate myself to writing and getting publishing credits. Not only am I going to invest more time, but I'm going to invest what little money I have and get me a new machine that will suit my needs if not my pockets. Also, I'm going to redouble my efforts of becoming a freelance writer, which means looking outside of dear old Louisville, KY (you don't understand how I need to get out of here). I'm also going to be a columnist - that is my dream and I'm going to make it a reality.

The thing is that money is a powerful thing because it clouds the big picture. If we are always concerned about how we're gonna make money, we aren't going to be able to see ahead of us what our purpose is. The blessing is that I've really known my purpose so that when I get wrapped up in money drama, I can come back to my first love, my purpose.