Acceptance is the First Step…

Raise your hand if there’s some little (or big) quirk about you that is well…um…embarrassing. Do your friends call you weird because you sleep with your eyes open? Or perhaps you are slew footed and pigeon-toed (I’ve seen it). Are you in your twenties and you still sleep with a teddy bear? It’s quite okay.

I am fascinated by short people (those under 5 feet) and squirrels to the point of distraction. I have a one track mind at times, and sometimes…I laugh for no apparent reason (I’m usually writing in my head). And…

I’m a candyholic.

That’s right! My name is Jennifer Hanley and I’m a candyholic. I have been sober for two days and I was scared straight when I blacked out Monday night and came to in front of a huge pile of candy wrappers. It wasn’t even candy that I had purchased. I’m ashamed to say that the candy belonged to my precious two-year-old godson, who had hustled hard all weekend as Elmo to acquire a popcorn tin full of Halloween candy. When confronted, I accused them of contributing to the pile and it took another ten minutes for them to convince me of what I had done. During that intervention, I came to the realization that I can’t have just one piece of candy…so I haven’t.

What I just told you is completely true and is in no way mocking those who are addicted to more dangerous substances. It is to point out the fact that we all have blind spots in our lives. There are some things we do that we are not aware of and we have to depend on our friends and family to call us on these things. The fact is that I have been a candyholic for years, which might be deadly for me since diabetes runs strong on both sides of my family. It is by the grace of God that it was caught now before I did serious harm to my body.

Physical addictions are only a part of personal blind spots. Maybe you’re a serious hater, but you don’t mean to hurt feelings. Your just so unhappy about your own life, that the hate just kind of slips out. Maybe you view life with unending negativity and it colors your comments and demeanor, but you don’t consciously think that life sucks. Maybe you are so desperate to believe the best about every situation and person that you constantly get hurt. These are only some non-physical addictions that can really do harm.

I’ve been on a theme recently about the idea of love, because it is my personal belief that it makes the world go ‘round and yet, too few people understand love. Calling your loved ones out on destructive behavior is love of others in action. Caring enough to change your actions is not only love of others, but also love for self in action.

So go ahead and accept your destructive quirks so that you can be the best you possible. If one person tells you of a destructive habit, it might be anything. However, if more than one true loved one tells you you’re destroying yourself, its more likely than not to be true. Listen.

And for the non-destructive quirks that make you a great joke at a party, go ahead and accept those too. You’ll always be remembered. :)